Francesca Serritella Books In Order

My Nest Isn’t Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space

The incomparable Lisa Scottoline, along with Daughter Francesca, is back with more wild and wonderful wit and wisdom. New York Times bestselling author Lisa Scottoline struck a chord with readers, book clubs, and critics with her smash hit essay collection, Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog. This time, Lisa teams up with Daughter Francesca to give their mother daughter perspective on everything from blind dates to empty calories, as well as life with the feistiest octogenarian on the planet, Mother Mary, who won t part with her thirty year old bra. Three generations of women, triple the laughs and the love. Inspired by their weekly Chick Wit column for The Philadelphia Inquirer, Lisa and Francesca spill all their family secrets which will sound a lot like yours. And you ll have to put this book down, just to stop laughing. LISA ON DIETING: I m backsliding with carbohydrates, which is the food version of ex sex. FRANCESCA ON CUTTING THE CORD: I thought I said, I am going to see my cousin’s new apartment, but in Mom speak that translates to: I am going to meet certain death in the New York City subway tunnels that are soon to be my tomb. LISA ON MOTHER MARY: Most people have a list of Things To Do, but Mother Mary has a list of Things Not To Do. At the top is Don t Go to the Movies. Other entries include Don t Eat Outside With The Bugs and Don t Walk All Over This Co*ckamamie Mall. FRANCESCA ON BEING SINGLE: I m addicted to the wedding announcements. Worse, I find myself subtracting my age from the bride s. I thought I was a modern woman, turns out I m a Cathy cartoon. LISA ON AGING GRACEFULLY: Today I noticed my first gray hair. On my chin. And so much more!

Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog

A hilarious collection of stories from the life of the New York Times bestselling author of Look Again

At last, together in one collection, are Lisa Scottoline’s wildly popular Philadelphia Inquirer columns. In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman s perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007 and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there s only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I m Italian. The column gained momentum and popularity. Word of mouth spread, and readers demanded a collection. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is that collection. Seventy vignettes. Vintage Scottoline. In this collection, you ll laugh about: Being caught braless in the emergency room Betty and Veronica s Life Lessons for Girls A man s most important body part Interrupting as an art form A religion men and women can worship Real estate ads as po*rn Spanx are public enemy number one And so much more about life, love, family, pets, and the pursuit of jeans that actually fit!

Best Friends, Occasional Enemies: The Lighter Side of Life As a Mother and Daughter

From the New York Times bestselling writing team comes a hilarious new collection of essays that observe life from a mother/daughter perspectiveNew York Times bestselling author Lisa Scottoline and her daughter Francesca Serritella are the best of friends 99.9 of the time. They re number one on each other’s speed dial and they tell each other everything well, almost everything. They share shoes and clothes except one very special green jacket, which almost caused a catfight. In other words, they re just like every mother and daughter in the world. Best friends, and occasional enemies. Now they re dishing about it all their lives, their relationship, and their carb count. Inspired by their weekly column, Chick Wit for The Philadelphia Inquirer, this book is one you ll have to put down just to stop laughing. Lisa on Being a Mom Motherhood has no expiration date. Francesca lives in the city, and I worry about her all the time. My daughter moved out, so why am I still lactating?Francesca on Being a Daughter My mother is always right. Just ask her. Lisa on Things Every Daughter Should Know Your mother is always thinking about you, but that s not creepy. Your mother will never forget who did you dirty in the sixth grade, for which you can thank her. And your mother will never stop asking you if you need to go to the bathroom, before you leave the house. Well, do you?Francesca on Closet Wars My mom is a great dresser. Mostly because she s wearing my clothes. Lisa on Aging Gracefully My sex drive is in reverse, I have more whiskers than my cat, and my estrogen replacement is tequila. Francesca on Apartment Living When I saw a mouse, the first person I called was Mom. She told me to call my super, but I felt bad bothering him. I hate to bother people. But I love to bother my mother.