Seth Grahame-Smith Books In Order

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains. So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all new scenes of bone crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton and the dead are returning to life! Feisty hero*ine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers and even more violent sparring on the blood soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you d actually want to read.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Indiana, 1818. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one room cabin, where a nine year old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother’s bedside. She’s been stricken with something the old timers call ‘Milk Sickness.”My baby boy…
‘ she whispers before dying. Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother’s fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire. When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, ‘henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose…
‘ Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House. While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years. Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near death of our nation. NEW! Watch Honest Abe in action here: http://www. hachettebookgroup. com/authors_ABLVH. aspx

Unholy Night

From the author of the New York Times bestselling Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, comes Unholy Night, the next evolution in dark historical revisionism. They’re an iconic part of history’s most celebrated birth. But what do we really know about the Three Kings of the Nativity, besides the fact that they followed a star to Bethlehem bearing strange gifts? The Bible has little to say about this enigmatic trio. But leave it to Seth Grahame Smith, the brilliant and twisted mind behind Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies to take a little mystery, bend a little history, and weave an epic tale. In Grahame Smith’s telling, the so called ‘Three Wise Men’ are infamous thieves, led by the dark, murderous Balthazar. After a daring escape from Herod’s prison, they stumble upon the famous manger and its newborn king. The last thing Balthazar needs is to be slowed down by young Joseph, Mary and their infant. But when Herod’s men begin to slaughter the first born in Judea, he has no choice but to help them escape to Egypt. It’s the beginning of an adventure that will see them fight the last magical creatures of the Old Testament; cross paths with biblical figures like Pontius Pilate and John the Baptist; and finally deliver them to Egypt. It may just be the greatest story never told.

Marvel Zombies Return

They’re back! What happened to Spider Man, Colonel America, Power Man, Giant Man, and Wolverine at the end of Marvel Zombies 2? Where were they transported to…
and, more importantly, when? A frightening five part event shambles to life here, penned by resident evil Marvel Zombies 3 and 4 scribe Fred Van Lente and three of today’s hottest novelists of zombie fiction! Collecting Marvel Zombies Return 1 5.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Graphic Novel

‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ a fiendishly clever mash up of Jane Austen’s beloved classic with all new scenes of zombie mayhem is ‘A New York Times’ bestseller and a major pop culture phenomenon. This graphic novel adaptation, featuring all original art, will bring this sensational tale to a whole new audience. ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains’. So begins ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ Jane Austen’s immortal classic, now brought to glorious, gory new life with original, all new scenes of zombie mayhem. Seth Grahame Smith’s irreverent and witty reworking of this novel immediately struck a nerve: The book quickly became ‘A New York Times’ bestseller and one of the most buzzworthy and blogged about pop culture sensations of the year. Now ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ is a graphic novel the perfect format to bring this remixed masterpiece to zombie loving pop culture fans.

The Big Book of Po*rn

An X*X Rated Celebration of Adult Movies According to film historians, the first motion picture was screened in December 1895. And the first dirty motion picture was screened just a few months later. Adult movies are nearly as old as cinema itself. The Big Book of Po*rn celebrates this controversial art form in all its timeless glory from the stag films of the 1920s and the Super 8 reels of the 50s to the VHS boom of the 80s and the interactive DVDs of Tomorrow. Chapters include: Know Your Classics: The twenty five most important adult films of all time, including Debbie Does Dallas, Deep Throat, and an X rated musical version of Alice in Wonderland. Great Moments in Po*rn History: From the first on screen kiss to the invention of the silicone breast implant, these are major events that defined modern day adult films. The Pantheon of Po*rn: These mini bios of mega stars like Seka, Linda Lovelace, and Marilyn Chambers are filled with surprising trivia. It’s A Po*rn World, After All: We travel around the world from Australia and Canada to Germany and Japan to watch the best of international po*rn. Make Your Own Po*rno: All you need is a video camera, a willing partner, and these simple pointers Tell a story, Start with a bang, Parody a real film title whenever possible . And that s just the beginning. You ll also find a glossary of unfamiliar terms, a catalog of favorite po*rn genres, tons of classic stills and posters, interviews with po*rn pioneers, the 300 goofiest po*rn titles of all time Edward Penishands, Juranal Park, Oklahomo!, and much, much more.

The Spider-man Handbook

With great power comes great responsibility so if you want to be like Spider Man, you’d better read the instructions first. The Spider Man Handbook describes everything you need to live theSuper Hero life. You’ll discover: How to Crawl up a Wall How to Design and Build a Costume How to Swing from Building to Building How to Stop a Getaway Car How to Negotiate the Release of a Hostage How to Take On a Gang of Henchmen Plus a few skills that would benefit all the Peter Parkers of the world such as How to Deal with a Nightmare Boss, How to Live on a Meager Income, and so on. Complete with colorful step by step illustrations by a top Marvel artist, The Spider Man Handbook is essential reading for all your web slinging needs!

How to Survive a Horror Movie

Every month or so, a new horror movie hits 1 at the box office no wonder there are dozens of new fright films slated for release in 2007. But if you find yourself trapped in one of these movies, there’s no need to be afraid. How to Survive a Horror Movie teaches readers how to cope with every kind of horror movie obstacle, from ax wielding psychopaths to haunted Japanese VHS tapes. Chapters include:
How to Survive a Night of Babysitting
How to Convince the Skeptical Local Sheriff
How to Perform an Exorcism
How to Tell If You’ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie
How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll

Full of illustrated instructions on avoiding ghosts, serial killers, haunted cars, murderous pets, telekinetic prom queens, and countless other hazards, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for movie buffs of all ages!

Pardon My President

Whether you voted for Bush or not you owe the world an apology. He’s your president after all and the last eight years have been disastrous. Pardon My President features dozens of opportunities to say ‘I’m sorry’ just sign your name fold along the score lines and add a stamp.

Here are hilarious and heartbreaking apologies to Al Gore the people of France the nation of Iraq gay Republicans the city of New Orleans the pretzel industry and everyone and everything else the Bush administration has wronged including

Fiscal Conservatives: ‘Six years after taking office George Bush and his Republican controlled Congress had taken those surpluses and turned them into the largest debt in the history of our nation more than 9 trillion dollars.’
The English language c/o Harvard University Department of English: ‘No individual with the possible exception of Larry the Cable Guy has wronged you so profoundly.’
Harry M. Whittington: ‘I’m sorry Dick Cheney shot you in the face.’

Pardon My President is the perfect gift for Bush bashers and disenchanted Republicans.