Gideon Defoe Books In Order

Pirates! Books In Order

  1. The In an Adventure with Scientists (2004)
  2. In an Adventure with Whaling (2005)
  3. In an Adventure with Communists (2006)
  4. In an Adventure with Napoleon (2008)
  5. In an Adventure with the Romantics (2012)
  6. Two Adentures (2006)
  7. Pirates! Photographic Story Book (2012)
  8. The Pirates!: The Swashbuckling Adventure Story (2012)
  9. Pirates! Sticker Activity Book (2012)
  10. Pirates! Sticker Scene Book (2012)

Non fiction

  1. How Animals Have Sex (2005)
  2. Maps from Extinct Countries (2020)
  3. An Atlas of Extinct Countries (2020)

Pirates! Book Covers

Non fiction Book Covers

Gideon Defoe Books Overview

The In an Adventure with Scientists

Not since Moby Dick…
No, not since Treasure Island…
Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a sea saga to rival The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, featuring the greatest sea faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time at sea, somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition. Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies and trying to stick enough jellyfish together to make a bouncy castle, the Pirate Captain decides it’s high time to spearhead an adventure. While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin’s Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that’s not even the half of it.

In an Adventure with Whaling

They re back!!! The Pirate Captain and his irascible crew of scoundrels return in their soggiest saga yet.

Fresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, the Pirate Captain is determined to capture the enigmatic White Whale, hunted by the notoriously moody Ahab, who has promised a reward.

Chaos ensues, featuring the lascivious Cutlass Liz, the world’s most dangerous mosquito, an excerpt from the Pirate Captain s novel in progress a bodice ripper, of course, whale ventriloquism, practical lessons in whale painting, a shanty singing contest in a Las Vegas casino, and a dra matic climax in which the Pirate Captain s prize ham saves the day!

Move over, Herman Melville.

In an Adventure with Communists

London, 1840: Wagner’s latest opera plays to packed houses while disgruntled workers gather in crowded pubs to eat ice cream and plan the downfall of the bourgeoisie. And the Pirate Captain his disguise proving something of a letdown finds himself incarcerated at Scotland Yard, in a case of mistaken identity.

Discovering that his doppelg nger is none other than Karl Marx, the Captain and his crew are unwittingly caught up in a sinister plot that involves a red eyed monster, stolen waxworks, and a sack of pretend kittens.

From the gloomy streets of Soho to the leafy boulevards of Paris, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists is a story of intellectual giants, enormous beards, volcanoes and valkyries, doubloons and dancing girls, and a quest to discover whether ham might really be the opium of the people.

This volume also includes, at no additional charge, The Wit and Wisdom of the Pirate Captain a Major Philosophical Work

On the Matter of Love:

If you re off to fight in a battle, snap a ship s biscuit in half and give your girlfriend the other half. When you meet again, they will match like two halves of a single soul! Hopefully, this will stop her sleeping with other men.

On the Question of Gravy Stains:

It is my opinion that the best way to get gravy stains out of cotton or wool is to soak the fabric in vinegar for half an hour…
. If this doesn t work, try burning the gravy off with a match or getting a hungry dog to lick it off.

On Life in General:

Life is like a big shanty. Everything will be fine so long as everyone sings in harmony. But if someone plays a duff note on the accordion or tries to break dance at a sensitive bit, then there will be all sorts of trouble, mark my words.

In an Adventure with Napoleon

The Pirate Captain and his merry band of ne er do wells face off against their toughest but by no means their tallest challenge yet.

Crushed with disappointment at the Pirate of the Year Awards, our Pirate Captain decides that it’s time for a career change. And so with his loyal if soon to be dismayed crew, he sets off for St. Helena, a bleak speck of an Atlantic island a thousand miles from anywhere. But the Captain s plan for a quiet island life of beekeeping yes, beekeeping is interrupted by the arrival of a new visitor to the island the recently deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Will the island s twenty eight mile circumference be big enough to contain two of history s greatest egos? Has the Pirate Captain finally met his match? And, lest we forget the most important question: which of them has the best hat?

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon is a swashbuckling tale of lavish tea parties, planning regulations, educational museum exhibits, and naked political ambition. And unlike all of its thrilling predecessors there is not much ham involved.

Two Adentures

The Pirates! In an Adventure with ScientistsNot since Moby Dick…
No, not since Treasure Island…
Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a sea saga to rival The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, featuring the greatest sea faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time at sea, somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition. Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies and trying to stick enough jellyfish together to make a bouncy castle, the Pirate Captain decides it’s high time to spearhead an adventure. While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin’s Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that’s not even the half of it. The Pirates! In an Adventure with AhabFresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, The Pirate Captain is determined to capture the enigmatic White Whale, hunted by the notoriously moody Ahab, who has promised a reward. Chaos ensues, featuring the lascivious Cutlass Liz, the world’s most dangerous mosquito, an excerpt from the Pirate Captain s novel in progress a bodice ripper, of course, whale ventriloquism, practical lessons in whale painting, a shanty singing contest in a Las Vegas casino, and a dramatic climax in which the Pirate Captain s Prize Ham saves the day!Move over, Herman Melville.

How Animals Have Sex

Whether in the wild or in captivity, our furry, scaly, and feathered friends exhibit an incredible determination to mate. Find out which animals engage in dance competitions, cannibalism, and intercourse that lasts for six months. Discover why lady weevils have a really hard time of it. And why the female Mormon cricket isn’t offended when her partner insists on weighing her first. Marvel at the transgender clownfish, and gaze with envy at the humble barnacle and its remarkable sexual organ to body length ratio. In the world of animal sex there are apparently few traits or behaviors nature has deemed too bizarre to evolve. How Animals Have Sex is hilariously informative, filled with breathtaking facts and astonishing color photographs. It will, above all, show you why you should never, ever try to explain sex by making reference to ‘the birds and the bees’ unless you want your kids to grow up thinking that it’s normal to get aroused by balloons or to have your genitals explode half way through getting busy. You ll never look at Mother Nature the same way again.

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