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Publisher's Note: Holidays on Ice collects six of David Sedaris' most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last minute coaster or ice scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even in the back seat of a van or police car. 'The SantaLand Diaries', 'Dinah, the Christmas Whore', and 'Season's Greetings Greetings to our Friends and Family!!!', all previously published stories, have been joined by a trio of equally charming newcomers. A network television executive strong arms the congregation of a small Pentecostal church in 'Based on A True Story'. 'Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol' finds a bitter local theatre critic savagely attacking the various holiday plays and pageants presented by the area's elementary schools. And finally, in 'Christmas Means Giving', two competitive families celebrate the season by giving the gift of themselves.